


Life's too short to take it slow.

by lynnthere_donethat



Series: Wheeling Through the Midnight Streets - TDAU [10]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bi Dream because im projecting :sparkles:, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kinda crack?, Light Angst, M/M, Or I guess :] because the other one gives people ptsd from lore streams, Underage Smoking, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, but it's my au and my characterizations so who's to say whats crack and whats facts, but this fic isn't out to hurt you :), chat fic, i will add more as this fic gets updated, light cursing, memes and jokes, texting fic, this is capital P for Platonic, this is rated M for Memes, tiktok references, wooo karl pogggg i didn't forget him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29894451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynnthere_donethat/pseuds/lynnthere_donethat
Summary: just a chat fic for light hearted jokes and memes with the tiniest sprinkles of angst :)Memes and Malarky --> Life's too short to take it slow.Title from "Runaway Kids" by HARBOUR
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit & Grayson | Purpled, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: Wheeling Through the Midnight Streets - TDAU [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058816
Comments: 34
Kudos: 115





	1. Baconbits🥓🐷: I have to admit, that’s the first time someone bullied me into eating.

**Author's Note:**

> this is purely for my own enjoyment so sporadic updates when i cant get the angst to be angsty
> 
> Nicknames:  
> Bad → dadboyhalo👨 (@badboyeaylo)  
> Skeppy → diamond derp💙 (@skeep)  
> George → 404notfound /💔bitch🤬 / Georgie (@georgekeinfund)  
> Dream → dreamy / Dreamy (@dreamtaken_)  
> Alyssa →☕ Sip sip bitch☕ (@AlyssaR)  
> Techno → baconbits🥓🐷 / Techno (@Technoblade)  
> Wilbur → crime boi😈 / Wilby (@Wiblur)  
> Sam → god😇 (@SammyAudaude)  
> Callahan → BDE 🥴 (@Callahan)  
> Punz → don’t know nobody🤑 (@Punz)  
> Eret → king shit 👑 (@Eret)  
> Velvet → gayyyyyy🏳️🌈 (@RedVelvet)  
> Ant → gayyyyymer🏳️🌈🎮 (@AntFrost)  
> Sapnap → ❤️bro*but lovingly*😘 / Sappy (@Pandas)  
> Puffy → rockin that puff puff pass 🥵💨 (@CptPuffy)  
> Fundy → fundi (@fungi)  
> Niki → can do no wrong ever🥺💕 (@NikiHachu)  
> Ponk → evil scientist?🧑🔬🧪 (@Ponk)  
> Quackity → 🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨 / Quack (@Quackity)  
> Ranboo →🌝 we found him on the side of the road 🌝 / noodle (@Ranboo)  
> Tommy → child derogatory 🤬 / Tommy (@TommyInnit)  
> Tubbo → 💛bee🥺🐝 / Tubbee (@tubbee)  
> Purpled → 💜child *affectionately*👦🏼💜 / burpled (@purpled)  
> Karl → Karl (@karljacobs)  
> Phil → Dadza (@dadza)
> 
> Chat Breakdown:  
> -Dadza's Home for Traumatized Teens (Main GC with everyone *subject to change every chapter)  
> -Simp Shit (Private gc with karl, sapnap and quackity)  
> -Emotional Support Dumbasses (Private gc between dream, george and sapnap)  
> \- @user → @user (DMs between those two characters)  
> -Doin it for the Girls and the Gays (Private GC between Alyssa, Eret, Ant, Velvet, Niki, Puffy and Dream)  
> -BigManGroup (Private GC between Purpled, Ranboo, Tommy and Tubbo)  
> -Chaos Chat (Private GC between Phil, Tommy, Techno, Wilbur and Dream)

  
  


_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens  _ \- 4:10pm

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : god i hate english classes

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : this is a scammmm

**fundi** : but??

**fundi** : youre literally gonna be an english major??

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : and youre a bitch

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : you dont see me saying anything bout that tho☕️

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 7:38pm

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** :  **_@Eret_ ** do you prefer m’theydy or gentlethem more? :)

**king shit 👑** : ...

**king shit 👑** : I️ ... I️ think id rather you call me a slur. 

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 9:40pm

**child derogatory 🤬** : So.

**child derogatory 🤬** : The plan. We leave at like 11:30, walk to Tubbo’s house.

**child derogatory 🤬** : Then we go to the pizza place

**child derogatory 🤬** : Ranboo bring the paints.

**child derogatory 🤬** : Viola, art.

**crime boi😈** : This is something that requires finesse and focus, of which none of you fucks have.

**crime boi😈** : Also, I️ will tell dad since you sent this to everyone. 

**child derogatory 🤬** : /j?

**crime boi😈** : Not a fucking chance little brother.

**child derogatory 🤬** : Shit.

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 2:02am

**🌝 we found him on the side of the road 🌝** : Question: Do you think Lava would be spicy?

**dreamy** : ??????????

**dreamy** : wtf?

**rockin that puff puff pass 🥵💨** : Please dont eat lava.

**💛bee🥺🐝** : Ranboo, you do whatever you want you funky little gremlin :D

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : Actually, since its made of molten rock, it would probably taste very bland and vaguely dusty.

**🌝 we found him on the side of the road 🌝** : Thank you Techno. You understand me like no other.

**dreamy** : :concern:

**dreamy** : Why do you wanna know what lava tastes like????

**🌝 we found him on the side of the road 🌝** : Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy.

**dreamy** : .........

**dreamy** : That’s enough texting tonight. Im going to bed.

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 6:20am

**dreamy** : Yknow lyss, when I️ first met you

**dreamy** : I️ thought you were a bitch.

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : ??

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : What changed your mind?

**dreamy** : oh no, I️ still think you’re a bitch.

**dreamy** : Ive just come to love that about you. :)

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : I️ *feel* like I️ should feel insulted but I️ cant help but agree.....

**dreamy** : :)

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : *squints*

**dreamy** : :):)

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : I️ hate you.

**dreamy** : <3 

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : sure..... whatever.

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : <3 ig

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : Yknow Ive been thinking....

**dadboyhalo👨** : 1 fear

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : Rude!!!

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : ANYWAYS!!!!!

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : I️’ve been thinking.

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : What if my pronouns

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : Instead of being he, she or they

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : it’s just bitch.

**gayyyyymer🏳️🌈🎮** : That’s so fucking valid

**king shit 👑** : MOOD!!!!!!

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 3:55pm

**gayyyyymer🏳️🌈🎮** : I️ dont wanna go to workkkkk :(

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : Why?

**gayyyyymer🏳️🌈🎮** : because want to be with my bf :(

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : Psychology Tricks That Work Because I️ Use Them:

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : If you dont wanna go to work? 

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : Just commit-

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : Arson.

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : Burn that hoe to the ground. :)

**dadboyhalo👨** : Please dont burn down your workplace. 

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : but arson?

**dadboyhalo👨** : ....

**dadboyhalo👨** : No.

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : :(

**dadboyhalo👨** : You can’t just 

**dadboyhalo👨** : FROWN in mild disappointment 

**dadboyhalo👨** : When I️ tell you no to committing a crime!

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : :(

**dadboyhalo👨** : No.

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : you’re no fun. 

**god😇** : Guys.

**god😇** : I️ was cleaning my room, and I️ discovered that the spider, that I️ killed 3 whole years ago

**god😇** : with an entire can of hairspray

**god😇** : is still there!!!

**god😇** : She’s still there.

**king shit 👑** : sis forgot to biodegrade.

**god😇** : So.... naturally im going to smash it with a fire extinguisher.

**king shit 👑** : oh shit? good luck my friend.

  
  


_ @skeep → @badboyeaylo _ \- 4:12pm

**@badboyeaylo** : geppy :(

**@skeep** : no bad!

**@skeep** : im not getting you a knife for your birthday!

**@badboyeaylo** : but its pretty! :(

**@skeep** : No! 

_ BigManGroup _ \- 4:44pm

**Ranboo** : I️ regret nothing.

**Tubbee** : That’s because you don’t remember what you’re supposed to regret!

**Ranboo** : fair enough

**Ranboo** : point still stands though!

**Ranboo** : No regrets!

**burpled** : You should

_ Simp Shit _ \- 11:23 AM 

**Quack** : akdhakaja KILL MEEEEE

**Sap** : what did you do?

**Quack** : OKAY!!!!! Why do you automatically assume that /// I️ /// did something.

**Quack** : Something could have happened /// to /// me!

**Karl** : babe just tell us what you did.

**Quack** : I️ dont deserve this.

**Quack** : I stayed behind to ask Mr. H something and the fuckin SR officer did a random check

**Quack** : I️ have ISS for two weeks

_ Doin It For the Girls and the Gays  _ 🤪 - 11:24 AM

**Ant** : I️ don’t mean to be homophobic

**Ant** : But whatever Dream, George and Sap have going on....

**Ant** : Kinda gay

**Alyssa** : Ant, you are literally dating a man.

**Ant** : IM JUST SAYING BRO!

_ Dadza’s Home for Taumatized Teens  _ \- 3:20 AM

**crime boi😈** : unpopular opinion: cookie dough is worth the risk of salmonella

**crime boi😈 sent a picture** : [it’s a picture of a tube of cookie dough with the wrapper peeled down, like a banana. There are two huge bites taken out of the top of the cookie dough.]

**🌝 we found him on the side of the road 🌝** : Wilbur, pull yourself together and go get a dang spoon. its cookie dough, not a beefy 5 layer burrito. 

**💛bee🥺🐝** : have some class :/

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 5:30am

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : eve was a girlboss for eating that fruit. Adam was a himbo for doing what his wife said. I will not elaborate.

**can do no wrong ever🥺💕** : you literally do not need to queen you said it loud and clear

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 7:33am

**dreamy** : “so everyone knows how to roll down their windows with a clicker, but another feature in a car is a fucking GAS PEDAL!! Move!!!” **_@CptPuffy_** this morning lmaooo

**don’t know nobody🤑** : i mean…. She isn’t wrong

**dreamy** : i know but it’s funny cause puffy never gets road rage

**dreamy** : but like these people were so slowwwww

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : #puffyexposed

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 4:33pm

**king shit 👑** : so i have a million dollar idea

**king shit 👑** : if you are over the age of 50

**king shit 👑:** and comment on the fact that i’m wearing tight-high heels, or nail polish-

**king shit 👑** : mind your damn business Cameron. I will fuck your son.

**don’t know nobody🤑** : pop off king!!!!!

**Dadboyhalo👨** : language eret

**king shit 👑** : some people istg!!!! It’s 2021 let me liveeeeeeeee!!!! I look hot! I look badass!! And you’re killing my vibeeeeee bad!!!! 

**dreamy** : petition to kill this man  **_@Dadza_ **

**Dadza** : just dont get caught, detention or killed.

**dreamy** : best not-adoptive dad ever.

**crime boi😈** : Dream you’re literally in our family gc, you’ve been adopted in this family. Now, come upstairs and help me bother Tommy.

**dreamy** : hmmmmm

**dreamy** : after i kill this mans for harassing Eret

**dreamy** :  **_@Technoblade_ ** wanna help?

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : sure lemme grab my sword.

**dreamy** : poggggg

_ @dreamtaken_ → @georgekeinfund  _ \- 2:20pm

**@dreamtaken_ sent a video:** [ a tiktok video opens to a man dancing aggressively in front of a whiteboard. The man begins freestyle singing “if a friend sent you this, just follow my lead!” he stands and turns to the board, and begins drawing. “We’re gonna write out a 1! Then write out a three!” and draws the two numbers really close together, resembling a capital B. “Invert an exclaim, then a T at the end, round it off with a -ch and that’s what you mean!” The man yells out, still singing. He continues writing out his instructions. The whiteboard reads out a shaky “bitch” and the man turns around. He begins bobbing along with his tune and yells out “You’re a bitch! You’re a bitch!” as he points to the word with the marker. The video fades to black before reloading]

**@georgekeinfund** : says you. :middle_finger:

**@dreamtaken_** : :laughing_crying: fuck you 

**@georgekeinfund** : you wanna kiss me so bad you look stupid

**@dreamtaken_** : in your dreamsssss

**@georgekeinfund** : *nightmares

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 2:24pm

**dreamy changed** **_@georgekeinfund_ ** **‘s name from “** 404notfound **” to “** 💔bitch🤬 **”**

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : The homies are divorcing :/

**dreamy** : george out the gang 

**💔bitch🤬** : die mad about it 

**dreamy** : whatever bitch, good luck changing your name.

**god😇** : cant believe the dream team is breaking up sadge

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : this is sapnap erasure :(

**god😇** : sorry sappy :( ilyyyy

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : ily too sammy

  
  


_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 5:12pm

**child derogatory 🤬** : can someone take me to the hospital? If you need to know, my blood type is red

**dreamy** : ???

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : he’s being a baby

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : he cut his hand on one of my old sabre’s and has the tiniest cut on his hand :rolling eyes:

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : it’s already getting bandaged 

**dreamy** : rip 

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens  _ \- 6:50am

**king shit 👑** : do I️ look good? 

**king shit 👑 sent a picture** : [it shows them in a mismatched outfit of a cropped KISS shirt, ripped gray skinny jeans and chunky high-top converse that have faded and have sharpie scrawled over them]

**king shit 👑** : if not just tell me! It’ll be like ripping….

**king shit 👑** : THE SWORD FROM THE STONE!

**dreamy** : That was canonically not easy

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : Yeah, only arthur was able to remove the sword

**crime boi😈** : may the odds be never in our favor

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : but this isn’t the sword in the anvil

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : wasn’t it the sword in the stone?

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : why don’t you read the book and still see if you need to correct me.

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 1:22pm

**Baconbits🥓🐷 sent a video** : [ the video shows the school hallways, with Tubbo skipping down the hallway and pulling a stumbling Ranboo after him as Ranboo stutters out for Tubbo to slow down, before they turn a corner. The camera drops after they turn and ends.]

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : Im sorry…

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : Did that bee just steal a noodle?

**💔bitch🤬** : ahahaha!!! Bee and Noodle!!!

**king shit 👑** : babe wake up, new nicknames just dropped for Tubbo and ranboo! 

**king shit 👑** :  **_@dreamtaken__ ** can you change ranboo’s name to noodle???? 

**dreamy changed “** 🌝 we found him on the side of the road 🌝 **” to “** noodle **”**

**dreamy** : :) your wish is my command :)

**noodle** :  **_@dreamtaken__ ** have you ever considered

**noodle** : dying? 😳👀

**dreamy** : nah God denied my request

**noodle** : hmmmm maybe you should reapply 👀

**dreamy** : hard pass noodle 

**noodle** : me when i kill Dream 

**noodle** : asmr :sparkles:

**💛bee🥺🐝** : leave ranboo alone :(

_ @NikiHachu → @Technoblade _ \- 3:32pm

**@Nikihachu** : tech, have you eaten today?

**@Technoblade** : yeah

**@NikiHachu** : techno.

**@Technoblade** : what?

**@NikiHachu:** …

**@NikiHachu** : Last I checked only racists skipped meals.

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 3:34pm

**Baconbits🥓🐷 sent a picture** : [ a screenshot of his conversation with Niki minutes prior]

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : I have to admit, that’s the first time someone bullied me  _ into _ eating. 

**can do no wrong ever🥺💕** : :smile:

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : that smile feels vaguely threatening Ms. Hachu. And I am making a sandwich now so stop with the “mom” stare at your phone. I can feel it through my screen.

**Baconbits🥓🐷 sent a picture:** [shows a ham and cheese sandwich with mayo and lettuce, with a bag of chips next to it. The sandwich is sitting on a folded paper towel. There is also a water bottle in the background.]

**can do no wrong ever🥺💕** : if it’s not broke, don’t fix it! Besides, you should eat more anyways! I can and will come over with food right now Technoblade Watson.

**rockin that puff puff pass 🥵💨** : we don’t deserve Niki  **🥺🥺🥺**

**dreamy** : facts!!

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 5:33pm

**can do no wrong ever🥺💕** :  **_@fungi_ ** i wanna believe you’re a libra but you’re acting like a fucking gemini!!

**fundi** : DONT YOU SIGN SHAME ME!!

**can do no wrong ever🥺💕:** I’m sorry, my planets are in retrograde :(

**dreamy:** the stars aren’t real and the earth’s flat you dumb fucks

**can do no wrong ever🥺💕** : lol leos

**fundi** : lmao leos

**dreamy:** ........ wtf is that supposed to mean??

_ Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens _ \- 6:00pm

**dreamy** : guys???

_Emotional Support Dumbasses_ **-** 9:06pm

**Dreamy** : fuck i hate these kinda nights :( 

**Georgie** : ???

**Sappy** : cant sleep bud?

**Dreamy:** yeah :( Sam and Callahan are here but they’re downstairs watching movies and i cant sleep but also dont wanna bother them

**Georgie** : just go ask them dream. You need to sleep.

**Dreamy** : :((( i’d rather die

**Sappy** : dreamie… bro

**Sappy** : so how long until you actually face your trauma with everyone else???

**Dreamy** : …

**Dreamy** : so due to this comment i will be passing away

**Dreamy** : you know why Sap. 

**Sappy** : :/// Dreamie that’s not good tho.

**Dreamy** : logically- I know I should. 

**Dreamy** : in my head, it’s like “but being judged is scary and i dont wanna lose them”. 

**Sappy** : :(( I know buddy, but we’re still here for you now. You want me to come over?

**Dreamy** : but your parents…

**Sappy** : my parents need to learn that I give a damn about you and that restricting me is only gonna cause more issues. I’m omw, leave a window open.

**Dreamy** : <3 i love you brother

**Sappy** : i love you too brother

_Chaos Chat_ **-** 3:23am

**Wilby** :  **_@Technoblade_ ** go to sleep it’s 3:30 am

**Wilby** : please learn to be a morning person.

**Techno** : Listen! I am a morning person!!

**Wilby** : Liessss

**Techno** : I just prefer being more productive at 3:30 in the morning rather than 8:30 in the morning!

**Wilby** : go to sleep. Nick Carraway’s gay panic over Jay Gatsby can wait until tomorrow.

**Techno** : fine. Goodnight menace.

**Wilby:** thank you. Goodnight techie

**Techno** : whatever. Gn

  
  
  



	2. clingyinnit: YOU HAVE BEEN INACTIVE ALL DAY AND YOU ONLY BECOME ACTIVE TO “lAnGuAgE” ME??!?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octopi apparently just fucking punch fish?? Quackity's basic trivia could use some work and some clingyinnit + platonic husbands based around the stream (aka clips i found) and the twitter threads from today. La Croix is trash (no i will not accept criticism for the liquid equivalent of tv static) and just general chaos from these teenage disasters. (Plus dadza content pog)
> 
> tw: underage smoking, and minor violence (it's mainly "off camera" but just in case. Also- referenced past child abuse (it's five lines (but mentioned directly in two but build up) but if you wanna skip, it's after the La Croix convo between Sapnap, Karl and Quackity)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher on Names:  
> Bad → dadboyhalo👨  
> Skeppy → diamond derp💙  
> George → 💔bitch🤬  
> Dream → dreamy  
> Alyssa →☕ Sip sip bitch☕  
> Techno → baconbits🥓🐷  
> Wilbur → crime boi😈  
> Sam → god😇  
> Callahan → BDE 🥴  
> Punz → don’t know nobody🤑  
> Eret → king shit 👑  
> Red → gayyyyyy🏳️🌈  
> Ant → gayyyyymer🏳️🌈🎮  
> Sapnap → ❤️bro*but lovingly*😘  
> Puffy → rockin that puff puff pass 🥵💨  
> Fundy → fundi  
> Niki → can do no wrong ever🥺💕  
> Ponk → evil scientist?🧑🔬🧪  
> Quackity → 🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨  
> Ranboo → noodle  
> Tommy → child derogatory 🤬 → clingyinnit  
> Tubbo → 💛bee🥺🐝  
> Purpled → 💜child *affectionately*👦🏼💜  
> Phil → Dadza  
> the rest is self-explanatory i feel.  
> Chat Breakdown:  
> -shut the fuck up about sea shanties (Main GC with everyone *subject to change every chapter)  
> -Simp Shit (Private gc with karl, sapnap and quackity)  
> -Emotional Support Dumbasses (Private gc between dream, george and sapnap)  
> \- @user → @user (DMs between those two characters)  
> -Doin it for the Girls and the Gays (Private GC between Alyssa, Eret, Ant, Velvet, Niki, Puffy and Dream)  
> -BigManGroup (Private GC between Purpled, Ranboo, Tommy and Tubbo)  
> -Chaos Chat (Private GC between Phil, Tommy, Techno, Wilbur and Dream)
> 
> Also, in case it wasn't clear- Dont ship people in these stories. It's meant to be entirely platonic. There is no subtext or hidden messages. Just friends being friends and very comfortable with each other. No one's said anything but i just want to make it clear.  
> And this is intended to be like a mash between texting and discord. So like only Dream can change nicknames, but they are all there. Okie enjoy!

**@TommyInnit changed the Group Name from “** Dadza’s Home for Traumatized Teens **” to “** shut the fuck up about sea shanties **”** \- 1:13am

**dreamy** : ??? why?

**dreamy** :  **_@Wiblur_ ** what have you done?

**crime boi 😈** : why do you think /// I️ /// had something to do with this???

**dreamy** : its about music and I️ took a wild fucking guess. 

**child *derogatory*🤬** : he hasnt stopped singing the fuckin wellerman song and also the drunken sailor

**child *derogatory*🤬** : non. stop. all. night. so  **_@Wiblur_ ** shut the fuck up about sea shanties

  
  


_ @dreamtaken_ —> @Pandas _ \- 6:30am

**@dreamtaken_** : 🌚

**@dreamtaken_** : \|/ 🔪

**@dreamtaken_** : /\

**@Pandas** : bro i just woke up can you give me a min before you start being weird

**@dreamtaken_** : why would I️ ever do that? :):)

**@Pandas** : I️ hate you.

**@dreamtaken_** : <3 :)

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 9:22am

**BDE🥴** : did you guys hear about the fact that apparnetly octopi just fucking deck fish???

**king shit 👑** : on god??

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : wtf is with weird shit happening today???

**BDE 🥴** : yeah! look at this!! 

**BDE🥴 sent a video** : https://youtu.be/SWXyMVXwyyU 

**king shit 👑** : holy shit!!!! that’s hilarious!

**dreamy** : dude

**dreamy** : can you like imagine if those fish werent in a school or smth

**dreamy** : and they went back and told everyone

**dreamy** : AND NO ONE BELIEVED GHEM!!

**dreamy** : like they come back and are like “bro guess what?”

**dreamy** : some other fish is like “what?”

**dreamy** : “yknow arnold down the reef? he just fucking decked jerry over here”

**dreamy** : and that other fish is like “bruh what? octopi dont do that. what did you fucking do to the poor dude”

**dreamy** : “NITHUNG DUDE! he just fucking hit him!!” 

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : I️ just want yall to know that Dream has been wheezing with laughter with each message 

**❤️bro*but lovingly*😘** : mans is SOBBING with laughter and his face is so red rn

**dreamy** : you say that like you havent been laughing as well

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 2:22pm

**dreamy** : yes im bisexual. i'm attracted to women because women are incredible and i'm attracted to men because I️ like making bad decisions

**gayyyyymer🏳️🌈🎮** : that’s so valid Dream

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : is this your coming out???

**dreamy** : yes. 

**dreamy** : wait- did you not know??

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : no? I️ dont like to assume anything!!

**dreamy** : bitch. I️ have a literal pride flag in my room??

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : i dunno, I️ just thought it was aesthetic

**dreamy** : fair enough but yeah lol

**dreamy** : idk just dont like big things about something that I️ dont choose if that makes sense

**king shit👑** : love that for you tho 

**king shit** 👑: its valid af

**dreamy** : thanks eret you a real one 💕

**Dadza** : proud of you  **_@dreamtaken__ **

**dreamy** : when phil is a better parent than my own 😭 going dark 

**crime boi 😈** : it be like that sometimes 

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : it doooo 

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 4:20pm

**💛bee🥺🐝 sent a video** : ( its a snapchat video of Techno, Quackity and Wilbur sitting in the park by the quarry. Quackity has a blunt hanging in his hand and he takes a drag as Techno looks at a sheet of paper with an unimpressed stare. “Name three oceans” he says as Quackity takes a drag. “Africa” he says, twirling his open hand and collapses into giggles. The snapchat video is labeled “he’s already one in lmao 😂)

**noodle** : ????? what?

**💛bee🥺🐝** : quackity dared techno to quiz him while he’s high

**💛bee🥺🐝 sent a video** : (another snapchat video focused on Quackity and Wilbur. Wilbur has the paper and a big smile as he reads out “How many planets are in the solar system?” Quackity deadpan stares as he asks “Which one?” Wilbur looks dumbfounded “Ours.” Quackity waves his hand in a “go on motion” as he asks again “Which one is that?” Wilbur drops the paper as he gives Quackity a taken aback look and says “The Milky Way.” Quackity looks angry as he yells out “That’s a candy bar!!” Tubbo bursts out laughing and the camera falls to face the ground as Tubbo hiccups with laughter. The video ends without a caption)

**dreamy** : is he for real??  **_@Quackity_ ** what??????

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : That’s nto yhe fuckibg name of our solar system!!!! it cant be!!!!

**dreamy** : oof I️ have some bad news buddy 

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : taht’s bullshit!

**dreamy** : that’s facts.

**💛bee🥺🐝 sent a video** : (a third snapchat video with Techno and Quackity. Techno looks 100% done with this game or quiz as he reads from the paper once more. Tubbo zooms in and the questions and answers are shown with little x’s and check marks indicating how Quackity’s doing. It's not the best, but he’s trying. “How many ounces are in a pound?” Techno asks. Quackity brightens as he yells out “16!” and looks really proud of himself. As Techno looks dumbfounded, Quackity gives him a smirk and says “you’re talking to a drug dealer Tech.” A loud, boisterous laughter comes from the group and the video ends. Tubbo captions this one as “#drugdealerfacts.)

**don’t know nobody🤑** : there are no words.

**Baconbits🥓🐷** :  **_@Quackity_ ** dont ever call me to quiz you again. How the fuck are you top of your class??

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : weed.

**Baconbits🥓🐷 left the group** \- 4:50pm

**dreamy added Baconbits🥓🐷 to the group** \- 4:50pm

**dreamy** : no ❤️

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : I️ hate it here. 

_ Chaos Chat _ \- 5:39pm

**Phil** : Techno, what’s this?

**Phil sent an picture** : (the image shows Techno’s bedroom with a colossal stuffed polar bear propped on Techno’s bed)

**Techno** : I️ see you’ve met Steve. 

**Tommy** : Steve?

**Techno** : Yeah, his name is Steve. He guards my fencing swords.

**Dream** : steve supremacy 

**Techno** : thank you dream

**Wilbur** : Has Steve met Sally?

**Techno** : No, and if Sally ever steps foot in my room, or if you take Steve out of my room- I️ will Hurt You.

**Wilbur** : hmmmm…

**Techno** : Wilbur. Leave Steve Alone.

**Wilbur** : I️ dont think I️ will.

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 6:00pm

**💛bee🥺🐝** : wtf was that scream?

**child derogatory 🤬** : wilbur touched steve and now Techno’s mad at him

**dreamy** : techno’s chasing wilbur with a dagger

**king shit👑** : context?

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : no. 

**dreamy** : wilbur woke up and chose death. Techno woke up and chose violence. 

**can do no wrong ever🥺💕** : who’s steve?

**dreamy** : techno’s new polar bear. 

**dreamy** : Dadza’s stepped in and Techno no longer has a knife

**dreamy** : both wilbur and techno lost their phones lmaooo

**dreamy** : L

**child derogatory 🤬** : L

**💛bee🥺🐝** : L

**don’t know nobody🤑** : L

**☕ Sip sip bitch☕** : L

**god** 😇: L

**noodle** : L

_ @Ranboo —> @Tubbee _ \- 6:34pm

**@Tubbee** : consider: movie date with The Office? 

**@Ranboo** : aren’t you with Tommy??

**@Tubbee** : no, but I️ wanna watch The Office with yuo

**@Ranboo** : okay

**Tubbo started a call**

**Ranboo joined the call**

**Ranboo changed their status to Do Not Disturb** : watching the office rn

**Tubbo changed their status to Do Not Disturb** : platonic husband bonding

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 6:40pm

**dreamy sent a picture** : (shows Tubbo and Ranboo’s status icons and their status’)

**dreamy** : they’re doing hot girl shit

**child derogatory 🤬** : WTFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!

**king shit👑** : platonic husbands? good for them!

**child derogatory 🤬** : THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR THEM WTF ERET NO

_ @TommyInnit —> @Tubbee _ \- 6:41pm

**@TommyInnit:** **_@Tubbee_**

 **@TommyInnit:** **_@Tubbee_**

 **@TommyInnit:** **_@Tubbee_**

 **@TommyInnit:** **_@Tubbee_**

 **@TommyInnit:** **_@Tubbee_**

 **@TommyInnit:** **_@Tubbee_**

**@TommyInnite** : answer me dickhead

**@Tubbee** : what? 

**@Tubbee** : im watching The Office rn :(

**@TommyInnit** : wtf is platonic husbands? 

**@Tubbee** : idk purpled said ranboo and I️ argue like a married couple. we arent interested in that kinda relationship but thought it was funny

**@Tubbee** : we have a minecraft child together named Michael

**@TommyInnit** : WTFF

**@Tubbee** : what?

**@Tubbee** : jealous 😏

**@TommyInnit** : IM NOT JEALOUS!!!

**@Tubbee** : mhm sureee

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 6:49pm

**💛bee🥺🐝 sent a picture** : (it shows Tubbo and Tommy’s dm’s with a green bar across the top indicating that Tubbo’s in a call with someone. The dm’s show Tommy’s @-ing Tubbo and then his “answer me dickhead” message.)

**💛bee🥺🐝** : clingyinnit

**child derogatory 🤬** : IM NOT FUCKING CLINGY MAN!!!

**💛bee🥺🐝** : I️ will show the whole dm.

**💛bee🥺🐝** : I️ wish wilbur was here to see this cause he’d bully you

**dreamy** : I️ gotchu bee

**💛bee🥺🐝** : thansk drem

**child derogatory 🤬** : fuck you Dream. 

**dreamy changed ”** child derogatory 🤬 **” to ”** clingyinnit **”**

**noodle** : tubbo :(

**💛bee🥺🐝** : im back

**noodle** : :D

**clingyinnit** : fuck thsi

**dadboyhalo👨** : language tommy

**clingyinnit** : YOU HAVE BEEN INACTIVE ALL DAY AND YOU ONLY BECOME ACTIVE TO “lAnGuAgE” ME??!?! WHAT THE FUCKKK!!!!! I️ HATE THIS I️ HATE THIS I️ HATE THIS FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!! 

**dadboyhalo👨** : >:O LANGUAGE TOMMY!!

**clingyinnit** : I️ HATE THIS I️ HATE THIS I️ HATE THIS I️ HATE THIS

**@TommyInnit is Offline**

**dreamy** : 🦀 Tommy is Gone 🦀

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 8:20pm

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : LMAOOOO SO IM PICKING UP ANT TO TAKE HIM HOME AND HE JUST TOLD THE LAST CUSTOMER “Alright, have a good day, night, time, life? You know what? Enjoy yourself. I️ fucking love you!” And ran away to the back!!! 

**dreamy** : DISASTER GAY ANT STRIKES AGAIN!!

**gayyyyyymer🎮🏳️🌈** : nooooo I️ fumbled and overcorrected 😭

**gayyyyyy🏳️🌈** : its a good thing you’re pretty

**rockin that puff puff pass 🥵💨** : i felt that tho

_ Simp Shit _ \- 1:13am

**Karl** : nothing makes me laugh harder than people roasting la croix

**Karl** : because like the things people come up with are so honking funny

**Quack** : I️ dunno I️ think people just hate seltzer water

**Sap** : La Croix tastes like how minecraft sand sounds when it breaks

**Karl** : LMAOOOO!!! AHAHAHAHAH I️ 😂 HATE 😂 HERE 😂😭

**Quack** : My favorite La Croix flavor is a hint of a hint of Lime 🤪

**Sap** : La Croix tastes like you were trying to drink old sprite through a napkin 😂

**Karl** : 😭😂😂😭😂😭😂 oh nooo!!!!

**Quack** : My favorite La Croix flavor is shipped in a container near strawberries 😂🤣😂

**Karl** : why yall roasting the overpriced spicy water?! 😭

**Sap** : La Croix tastes like catching a Sea Bass 😂

**Quack** : Do you think that La Croix is just like when you haven’t eaten for a long time and your stomach gurgles and you can FEEL it?

**Quack** : do you think they just bottle that and sell it to us?

**Karl** : fuck dude sorry for bringing up la croix 😭😂

**Sap** : bro my stomach hurts from laughing!!

**Karl** : sameee

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 9:10am

**dreamy** : yo im in class and the tecaher just called on this kid and after a short pause he was just like “Hang on, im not dumb just panicking”. I️ felt that. The guy next to me felt that. Your mom felt that (not my mom tho 🤪) the whole world felt that!

**Baconbits🥓🐷** : I️ felt that so hard ngl

**💜child *affectionately*👦🏼💜** : why wouldn’t your mom have felt that  **_@dreamtaken__ **

**dreamy** : cause she’s a stone cold bitch? 

**💜child *affectionately*👦🏼💜** : fair enough no further questions your honor.

**dreamy** : nah it’s cool. she just cares more about her money. wealth and job than her own son so idc about her

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : dream lore pog??

**dreamy** : you’ve been knew about this wtf?

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : some not all unlike SOME people 👀

**dreamy** : my backstory is unlocked at friendship level 69. you have a long way to go.

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : eyyy man!! what the fuck dude! A long way?! What level am I️ at?

**dreamy** : well I️ cant tell you that because you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : scam

**dreamy** : sucks to suck

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : don’t make me jack prices for you dick

**dreamy** : i don’t even smoke that much! You’re petty shit dones nothing to me.

_ shut the fuck up about sea shanties _ \- 4:30pm

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨 sent two videos** : (it shows a Just Dance competition filmed on Snapchat. The first video shows George and Sapnap, obviously tired just going with the base movements. They swing the controllers without much fanfare, and minimal movements. This video is captioned with “such energy”. The second video shows Wilbur and Dream doing the same dance, and they are going all out. Both of the boys are bobbing along, following the characters on screen and laughing loudly. The background has the group laughing as the duo turn to serenade each other, giggles falling from their lips. The video is captioned “feel the rhythm feel the rhyme! Get up babe it’s Just Dance Time!” with sparkle emojis bookending the phrase.)

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : they’re vibin

**Dadza** : at least they’re having fun :smile:

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : hell yeah!

**Dadza** : just return my boys safely

**can do no wrong ever🥺💕** : we will Mr. Watson :D

**Dadza** : Niki, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Phil? Mr. Watson makes me feel old

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : 👀👀👀👀 okay 

**Dadza** : I will punt you into the sun Quackity. 

**💛bee🥺🐝** : Dadza’s crafting a belt!!!  👀👀👀👀

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : BABAHAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK??!?!? A BELT?!?!

**Dadza** : dont call me old Quackity. *belt snap*

**🌳wheelin and dealin that good shit🥴💨** : fear.

**Dadaza** : good. Take care and be safe!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fish convo is a legit conversation I had with a co-worker and that's practically word for word too. (Dream is my half of the convo for context)  
> The La Croix conversation is something I found on TikTok by Luxiegames! What other references did you find?  
> also sorry i dont full involve everyone, i don't exactly know how to properly portray them, but I will def try my best to include more people!! Thank you all for the support on this series, I appreciate each and every comment, kudo and bookmark on this! You all are incredible! <3

**Author's Note:**

> hope you all liked it! :D


End file.
